No “Spicy” Second Date

The Jack Daniels almost spurted up my nose. Until that moment, it had been a bit difficult to stay engaged. The conversation with my blind date had been as flat as a piece of printer paper on a leaded glass tabletop. She was a nice enough lady; there was simply no connection, no chemistry. The date was a classic one-and-done. Then – the bombshell.

“Anyone I have a second date with, I’m going to have to sleep with them.”

I am not making this up.

My background in journalism and education has cultivated in me a pretty solid poker face. I think my outward reaction was limited to an arched eyebrow and a barely audible, “Hmm.” Inside my head, though, my brain was spinning in several directions at once as I tried to process the possibilities and the perils. Her next statement righted the universe.

“My ex-husband was so bad in bed, I’m not putting up with that again!”

The little voice in my head responded, “Yeah, no. This is one audition I’m skipping.”

Forget a second date. We never even made it to a second drink. It was one bar bill I was glad to pay as soon as possible. I had no intention of risking the type of rejection most guys fear most. And to be honest, I’m sure my date didn’t expect to hear from me.

This was one of those rare instances in life for which rejection was not destructive. In almost every other circumstance, rejection leaves a scar. Some scars are imperceptible, like being told your tie doesn’t match your shirt. Significant rejections, however, can devastate a person’s life – rejection of a long-term work or school project, being fired from a job, a spouse asking for a divorce. Rejection questions your worth, your value, even your validity as a human being. The most destructive type of rejection, however, is being rejected not for anything you’ve done, but for who you are – something you can’t change.

Unfortunately, that is happening with increasing frequency across the globe. One convenient target has been immigrants – families who have been forced from their homes by politics, narco-terrorists, and basic economic survival.

In routine cases, it is fair to expect immigrants to go through the legal process to enter a country. My grandparents did; maybe some of your ancestors did, too. But it’s hard to defer to a process when the lives of your parents, your spouse, and your children are at stake. Wouldn’t you do anything to keep your family safe? And wouldn’t you hope people would understand that? But instead of understanding, those fleeing for their lives are denied the due process of asylum seekers, stripped of their dignity and universally excoriated as rapists, criminals and parasites.

Pope Leo XIV, just five months into his papacy, is becoming increasingly vocal in advocating for the dignity of immigrants.

In his first address to world diplomats, Leo recalled his own immigrant background in stating the dignity of migrants must be respected. The following month, during Sunday Mass in St. Peter’s Square, the Pope taught, “Where there is love, there is no room for prejudice, for ‘security’ zones separating us from our neighbors.” More recently, Pope Leo told visiting U.S. bishops they should firmly address how immigrants are being treated by President Donald Trump’s hardline policies.

“The Church cannot remain silent,” the Pope told bishops, according to El Paso (TX) Bishop Mark Seitz in an Associated Press report. And Chicago Cardinal Blase Cupich told the AP that Leo was clear in his support for the undocumented immigrants President Donald Trump is trying to deport. 

“He (Pope Leo) wants us to make sure, as bishops, that we speak out on behalf of the undocumented or anybody who’s vulnerable,” Cupich said. “We all have to remember that we all share a common dignity as human beings.”

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