It’s one of the first words we learn as a new human – right after “Ma-ma” and “Da-da.” The word is “No.” It’s built into our DNA.
“No” is easy – We don’t have to do anything. “No” is smart – We can keep our money in our pocket. “No” is safe – we risk nothing. “No” is like hunkering down underneath a great big, thick, security blanket on a cold winter night.
Our country was founded on “no:” No ridiculous British rules, no unfair British taxes, and definitely no British-imported tea – English breakfast or otherwise. That little disagreement with King George III instilled quite a contrary streak into our national fabric, and probably was the American advent of the petulant admonition, “You’re not the boss of me!”
Our laws are largely defined by “no” – things we’re not supposed to do, such as exceed the speed limit, cheat on our taxes and beat up other people. There’s only one inescapable “yes” law we have in the United States – one thing we’re all required to do – and that’s pay our taxes. All the other pro-active laws and regulations arise from optional activities we choose, such as drive a vehicle, open a business or attend an event.
Still, the “no” psyche is not confined to Americans – not by a longshot. “No” is an inbred human survival instinct. In fact, one of man’s first documented moral codes, the Ten Commandments, is dominated with things we’re not supposed to do. Only two of the ten are pro-active – the Fifth, directing us to remember the sabbath, and the Sixth, commanding us to honor our parents. The rest make up a list of some serious no-nos – including other gods, murder, adultery and stealing.
While the Ten Commandments are specifically associated with Judaism and Christianity, the concepts are universal to nearly every religion and culture throughout history. These directives promote safety and order, keystones to the stability of all societies. While they keep us safe and secure, they also create a “No” place, a place of sterility dominated by nothingness. That’s not a very desirable place to live.
A much better place is… well, you already know. Think about one of your nicest, bestest, most excitingest moment in your life. Was it a product of saying “no?” Probably not. Most good things come not from saying “no,” but from saying “yes.” “Yes” to that first kiss. “Yes” to the new job offer. “Yes” to your First Communion. “Yes” to that concert, or that ballgame. Saying “yes” opens doors. Saying “yes” gives meaning to life.
who let you know they always have your back.
Saying “yes” creates relationships, both on the human level and even on the spiritual level. Jesus, during his time on earth, breathed life into the Ten Commandments and the 613 Jewish Mitzvot by consolidating them into the two Greatest Commandments: “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments” (Mt 22:37-40).
Both of these greatest commandments are “yes” commandments, pro-active, directing us to do something – love! – not just sit back and say no. Admittedly, “yes” is harder than “no.” Doing nothing is easier than doing something. But we aren’t called to an easy life. We are called to a life with others, to love and care for each other, and to be loved and cared for. Jesus commanded us to “love one another as I love you” (Jn 15:12). If you think about it, knowing that the people you love have your back is like being wrapped a great big, thick, security blanket on a cold winter night.
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Now What? 